Monthly Archives: September 2020

Motive End of Month Meet

SO good to see modified cars out and about! Just a quick snap Sam took of Andrew Hawkins and I at the Motive End of Month Meet earlier this week.

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Hustle & Flow Podcast now on ZEN Garage YouTube Channel

Last year when I was running a design and photo studio I caught up with Leslie Lau, a guy I knew from the car scene many years ago. He’d gone from buff to lean and woke AF. Turns out he’d survived cancer, and in doing so, it set him on a new path in life.

Leslie ended up being a client and good friend.

In June earlier this year he invited me on his “The Hustle & Flow” podcast which he runs with his good mate Shaun Cooper. We had an open discussion about art, the internet, not giving a fuck, society, life and more.

I’ve got to thank Leslie and Shaun for inadvertently getting me back on the horse with podcasts. With Leslie’s blessing I’ve uploaded the podcast we did to the ZEN Garage YouTube channel (find links to Leslie and Shaun’s podcast and socials in the video description).

Have a listen! As Shaun puts it; you might find some nuggets of gold in there!

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James Tee

I’ve heard of a fair few creeper photographers from girls that I’ve shot with over the years but photographer James Tee takes the cake.

This guy shot with a girl (that I shoot with) when she was just starting out. It’s a thing. I’ve shot with many young girls who were inexperienced at modelling and they were totally relying on me to do my job right. This guy tied her up to a bondage device, introduced a vibrator, filmed it and for the past 4 months has had this video up on Pornhub.

The cost of hiring a lawyer, and the energy needed in order to go through with a legal case, or even filing a police report doesn’t seem fair for the victim, so social media bashing it is then!

Guys like this give legit photographers a bad name. From what I gather, it turns out he had a few videos on Pornhub and other non-paywalled porn sites, of multiple girls he’s shot with, none of which gave him any sort of permission to do so and all of which have since come out to call him out.

Overnight he has blocked girls so they can no longer message him, he’s shut down his Instagram accounts and taken all videos down off various porn sites (if that’s not a sign of guilt then what is?!), it irks me to no end that he’s going to get away with this. He’s in hiding now, but without a slap on the wrist from the authorities I fear he’ll be back on the hunt again in no time.

Just had to get this off my chest. It’s personal!

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A couple of my Discord gaming buddies and I have just kicked off the GEEK’D OUT podcast! Join myself, Hawk and Jase as we have multiple orgasms of the mind over video games, science fiction, Japanese animation and more!

In Episode 01: ZEN, Hawk and Jase geek out over Gaming, Star Trek and Star Wars.

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I booked an escort

Earlier this year I got into a huge debate during a photoshoot with an escort. It started when she asked if I had ever booked an escort before, and when I said no, I hadn’t, she asked why, and when I tried to explain why she raged and by the end of our heated discussion and shoot she insisted that she book me an escort (she even insisted that she would pay for the experience!).

What was my why? Well I’m a bit foggy on exactly what I said, but I’m pretty sure I said a few of the following things; that I’ve never felt I needed to, that when I was younger my friends would go to brothels together but I’d never join them in fear of catching an STD, that I wasn’t cool with married men booking escorts and that one of my best friends is an escort so I know what it’s all about.

She hammered me, suggesting that I was disrespecting sex workers, that I thought I was better than sex workers and their clients, and ultimately, that I wasn’t experienced… And BAM! That got me, that fucked me up as I’m a huge advocate for being experienced. Whilst I disagree that not booking an escort because I’ve never felt the need to means I’m disrespecting escorts, speaking from experience and about experiences is at the base of everything I do so it wasn’t something I could argue.

Let’s just say she planted a seed.

Earlier this month I hopped on an escort listing site and started browsing profiles. OMFG. It felt like window shopping. There were way too many women to choose from, women of all ages and all races. Most of the escorts had their faces blurred out which made me feel like I was body shopping, the thing is, most of the photos I saw were highly edited which made me feel a little nervous. Before too long I found myself much more at ease with profiles of escorts who actually showed their faces as I felt that they were owning it, that they felt more real.

I was having an internal battle between trying to choose an escort I would have a connection with, or choosing an escort that portrays my fantasy woman. I ended up short listing a few girls; some had amazing bodies, some had amazing faces, some had well written profiles (some had not so well written profiles!) but in the end I chose a girl who had a really nice smile.

OK, so I needed to send her an SMS. Fuck this was harder than I thought. What do I write? Do I tell her my age? Do I tell her that I’ve never booked an escort before? Do I give her my entire life story?! In the end I kept it really short and punchy. Hi, something about the warmer weather, wondering if she was available for a booking this weekend, kind regards Justin.

She replied! She was fun and flirty, we locked in a date and I paid her a deposit. The days leading up to the date I got more and more nervous, so nervous that I started breaking out with zits on my face (FFS!). On the morning of our booking she called me, she was crying and told me that she just got some news which totally fucked up her day. Damn! She was really sorry and wanted to refund my deposit. Hey shit happens, right? On the one hand I was crushed and felt that all the nervous energy I’d racked up over the past few days was for nothing, but at the same time I felt for whatever it is she was going through too so I told her to keep the deposit and to get back to me when she felt better.

I felt rejected. Extremely frustrated. I drank a whole bottle of wine to myself that night. I felt like it was a sign and that this wasn’t meant to be.

A few days later she messaged me, apologised again, and we got back to fun and flirty messages. We locked in another date and the whole nerve-racking build up started all over again.

I booked an outcall so on the day of the booking I felt like Tom Cruise in Risky Business (where he waited an eternity for an escort to show up). Every minute felt like an hour. When the doorbell rang I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t help but think of the situation she would be in, not knowing who I was, what I looked like and all the risks involved (I know escorts who insist on hotels as at least they have surveillance cameras and emergency buttons on bedside phones), but as soon as she saw my lounge room she knew who I was, my photography and the other escorts I shoot with. My cover was blown!

In some ways her knowing of me wasn’t a bad thing for either of us. We sat and talked for what felt like ages and then we did the thing.

So was it what I expected? Well I didn’t really know what to expect so I’m not so sure. Was it fun? Yes. Was it worth the money? Yes. I booked her for an hour but we talked for an hour before doing it, then we talked for an hour after so she gave me three hours in total which I’m grateful for. Am I worried I caught an STD? Not really, she was really safe. Am I OK with married men booking escorts? Not really, but I’m not so black and white about it anymore now. It’s complicated. Do I think differently about escorts now that I had booked one? Yeah, for sure. In some ways I feel a bit of relief, like I ticked a box, or achieved a goal on my bucket list but I also can’t quite shake the risks involved for an escort in meeting new clients. Sure, being good at screening would help, but I still worry about my escort friends. Would I book her again or would I book another escort in future? Probably not, but I’m not saying never.

Overall I feel that a stronger connection was what was missing from the experience. I’ve gone for dates with a few women that I met on Tinder that I had really strong life connections with, but not so strong physical connections, and I find this experience similar.

It’s now been three weeks since the booking. We’ve not talked at all since, but I still get (very visual!) flashes from the experience from time to time and when I do it feels… for a better word, good?! It’s definitely something not nothing and might just be the addicting factor for many men who book escorts, but hey, end of the day I’m hyper aware that one experience doesn’t mean I’m experienced. I’m now in discussions with one of my close escort friends about creating a short viral video project about escorting, not to find answers, more to ask questions. More on this project soon!

PS: If you find this hard to read due to the small type I’ve also published it on Medium:

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Q: How do you manage your own horniness? What’s your advice for not being a creep ?

Some great questions being asked on my AMA (Ask Me Anything!) on reddit.

I actually get asked this a lot, especially by younger guys. I think being 45yrs old really helps in this situation as I have a lot of experience, control and a much lower sex drive than when I was younger. When I shoot I use a grid overlay so what I see through the viewfinder is a heavy black grid which helps me to line things up and get the shot. IE: I’m actually working my ass off to get a good composition at all times.

IRL I often criticise other photographers for uploading whack shots to Instagram with my close friends. I mean whack as in crap. Being a professional graphic designer my whole career has helped me to have a sharp eye and respect the grid. It’s clear as day for me to see when a photographer has little to no idea what they’re doing by just checking out their shots and seeing a horrible lack of composition. A lot of these guys get a shit tonne more followers and likes than I do, but I put that down to the fact that they’re just posting boobs and ass.

Being a creeper is on you really. The industry is pretty small and reputation goes a long way. Everybody talks and you can’t hide anything these days so if a model gets creepy vibes, or has a creepy experience with a photographer you can be guaranteed that she’ll talk and the news will get out there.

Models often tell me of bad experiences they’ve had with photographers. I’ve confronted two of these photographers (I couldn’t help myself) and asked them if they masturbate to the photos they take post shoot and both of them have admitted that they do (I’ve not spoken to them since!).

Find more questions and answers on my reddit AMA:

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Only took me a million years! Finally kicked off my DeviantArt profile. The site’s looking GREAT! Love the re-design (some of the user interface in the backend is still old school though…). Watch:

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I’m now on reddit!


Over the past few years I’ve had a really hard time promoting my photography as most, if not all of it, is NSFW content. I’ve been banned numerous times on Instagram and Facebook, most of the time it feels unfair, but hey, rules are rules and I’ve really got no one to blame but myself for getting banned on those platforms.

Enter reddit.

I’ve been stalking reddit for years, but I’ve always been hesitant to post much as I’ve read a whole lot of toxic negativity in the communities that I previously followed (that and I hate getting downvoted for my honest opinions!). As of this year I’ve been shooting full time and living off paid shoots as well as income from my Patreon so I thought that it was about time I try to find other ways to promote my art.

Some of the shots I’m most proud of are in situ. My aim with these shots is to try and make you, the viewer, feel like they’re in the moment. I really wanted to name this subreddit “In Situ” but hey, it was taken. Point Of View (POV) has some quite nasty pornographic connotations, but it’s quite literally what I’m capturing so I’ve settled for POVphoto, for now.

Please feel free to invite whoever you think would appreciate my work to this subreddit. I’m keeping it private for now so I can control what you all see. Thanks for joining (much appreciate the support) and hope you enjoy the content to come!


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