Category Archives: Spam



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Twitter & LinkedIn


Always late to the bandwagon these days… I’ve had invitations to join and connect with people on LinkedIn for so many years but I’ve never bothered with it. I’ve finally set mine up (it’s a start?!).

My LinkedIn:


I’m also going to give Twitter a go! Turns out I’ve already got an account:

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Greta Thunberg


“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

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Comments Disabled

I’ve disabled comments on posts. Sorry to the few of you who bother to leave comments, but I’ve got a stalker leaving abusing comments daily with the intention for me to read them, then feel shit. I’m quite sure I know who it is but I can’t get through to them. If anyone in my network is a lawyer, or can recommend me a lawyer please get back to me via private message, much gratitude.

To the stalker leaving the evil comments; you’re better than that.

There’s no point in wearing the anger and hate you’re feeling if all you’re going to do is leave nasty unpublished comments on my blog.

Dealing with it is the better way forward for both of us. If you refuse to call me then come out about it all in public, but don’t leave me hanging as it’s getting tiring (and surely you are sick of creating new hotmail email addresses and also visiting my website daily to read what’s new in my life).

You have my number, call me.

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I don’t often listen to The Cure, but when I do, so do the neighbours!

I’m an Artist. I went to Design School. I used wear women’s leggings throughout university. I had pink box plaits. My mum is my best friend. I was 18yrs old when my Dad died. When Dad died I cried, a LOT and I haven’t cried since. I’m now 43 and I cry a LOT. I cry every time Chris Cornell hits that note in ‘Fell On Black Days’. I cry when I try to sing and play ‘Nutshell’ by Alice in Chains. I cry watching other people cry on YouTube. I cried in the mall when I got overwhelmed by the noise in the food court and realised I didn’t want to be there. So what am I trying to say? I’m trying to say that crying feels SO fucking good.

“Boys Don’t Cry” has a double meaning to me now; Dad brought me up to be a man. Swallow your tears, crying is for girls. I see now how so many guys don’t cry because they think they shouldn’t, because they see crying as a form of weakness and so they choose to be less connected to their emotions.

I’ve been living with so much pent up anger that it took my therapist to tell me to my face that I go on about all these great things I’ve done, but when I’m playing my life back to her I don’t at all sound like Mr. ZEN. It’s taken me about a year since first seeing my therapist to learn how to cry again. The medication I’m on is meant to help me with my mood swings and depression, but I still feel they’re just sleeping pills and more of a breakthrough has been made by ditching the bong. I’m now no longer wake and baking every day of my life away, the numbness has subsided and I can see clearer by the day.

A couple of tears listening to some amazing dead dudes gives me a huge emotional release. Take it from a 43yr old emo, ask yourself why are you trying so hard to be a Ninja Turtle? A super turtle is even worse than ordinary turtles who retreat into their shells when shit hits the fan, hoping for everything to just magically work itself out, or go away before resurfacing. Stop sweeping your emotions under a Fukari Rug.

If you’re an emo guy own it. Being emo shouldn’t be a ‘thing’. Macho macho men make you out to to be a weirdo, but hey, in reality it’s those guys who can’t deal with their emotions who are the weird ones.

Posted in Music, Spam | 2 Comments

I wouldn’t have a notion, would I?

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Tie Dye top and NIRVANA painted large on my guitar.

Massive thanks to a mate of mine from High School Chris Martin, for sending me the full 1992 Sydney Boys High Yearbook. What a trip! I say some telling things in retrospect… especially love going through what everyone left in the book, it’s epic!

Nickname: Noodle, Gooz’n Look’n….. the list goes on.

Ambitions: To direct the new ultimate erotica, “In bed with Ms Arnett” movie.

Dream Date: Ms Arnett, Suze Demarchi of the Baby Animals

Most Vivid Memory: Ms Arnett, shitting in my nappies when I was very young, pissing in my mum’s face when I was very, very young, vomiting 15 times in one night on Mount Steel, jumping for joy when Outterside left, suiciding when Stratford took his place.

Whom do you most admire?: Ms Arnett, Kurt Cobain of Nirvana, The Black Crows, Dave Mustaine of Megadeth, Wendy James of Transvision Vamp.

Greatest Achievements: Ms Arnett?! You know the time that somebody bombed the school?, yeah, that was me. You know the time that somebody blew up Outerside’s car?, yeah, that was me. You know the time when somebody threw shit all over Bordignon’s face?, yeah, that was me. You know the time when somebody set fire to the non-flammable million dollar poor excuse for an assembly curtain?, yeah that was me………

Quotes: “Well believe you me I’ve got nothing up my sleeve except a heart and a chip on my shoulder, yes I’m young and don’t like getting older.”

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And people thought I’d lost the plot!

Joe Rogan Versus Alex Jones Part II – When Friends Go To War.

This is the funniest video I’ve seen in a while. LOL!

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Feedback is Gold

I love the Pen Ceremony scene in the movie A Beautiful Mind, although fabricated, what it symbolises is worth striving for; acceptance, and being recognised in the community for accomplishments made.

I’m 44 years old this year and I’ve survived my mid-life-crisis. I’ve come out of it with a new core (smoking bongs from 4.20AM-Midnight for 6 months wasn’t anywhere near as hardcore as this!). I’m mentally stronger than ever, clearer too, so clear that I can see past even more bullshit than ever.

The tall poppy syndrome I’ve been fighting my whole creative career has reared itself in the ugliest form so far. Where it was once people who had no idea of who I was, cutting me down for standing out just because, now it’s the friends closest to me using their adult smarts to belittle me in order to justify their own lack of success.

Some of my long time friends and followers chimed in when I was down in a hole. They offered advice, here are some of the things I was hearing:

– You have a self-importance issue.
– You try too hard to please everyone.
– You give too many fucks.

When I’m down I get caught up in the “I’m tired, it’s too hard. I’m done. I’m over it” basket. When shit gets overwhelming I want to hit the eject button. When I’m miserable I end up feeling immense guilt for not working, and that’s when mates chime in with stuff like; “why do you think you’re so important?” and “who cares if you don’t take photos, or blog, or keep your Facebook page and Instagram account active?”.

When I’m down I very easily agree with all these points and suggestions, recently I agreed so much with the advice given that I deleted my personal Instagram account of 13k followers and tried my best to delete Facebook (it’s impossible. I gave up). I let everything go. The forums, the blogs, the stuff that was keeping me busy and making an income.

Surviving the worst bump I’ve ever come across in my life so far I’ve found strength in learning how to accept and like myself again. If a capitalist is all about winner takes all and to hell with everyone else, I’m the opposite. I’m the Artist who has something to give, and is willing to share with competent young people in hope that I might be able to help them open doors of opportunity and see them develop into successful people.

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson (professor of psychology) says “successful people love mentoring young people, it’s an intrinsic pleasure”.

Helping others has been a huge source of pleasure in my life. Ever since design school I’ve always believed in “feedback is gold” but I didn’t know back then that feedback would end up being my primary source of pleasure and that helping others would be a never ending source of satisfaction.

Since coming back to social media this year I’ve received hundreds of messages of encouragement from mostly young people who are suffering and lost. These messages are gold to me. With names omitted, I’ve included 2 below. I’m hoping that after you read them you’ll have a better understanding of how and why I gain personal benefit from helping others, and how truly important this feedback is to me .

Letter #1.

“Hey I’ve been following your posts on Facebook, but your latest one with the R U OK got to me. I can’t respect you enough for voicing your feelings, that’s a hard thing to do and it’s something I struggle with regularly. I love the fact that you can be so open with your feelings on social media, not only are you posting things that I can relate to so immensely, but your posting things that I couldn’t ever bring myself to admit personally. I’ve got mad respect for you and I never want to stop seeing you stop expressing yourself like this, its uplifting for the rest of us who don’t have the strength to voice it for ourselves.”

Letter #2.

Hey man, it’s been a while and we’ve never really been close but I wanted to send you a message. You’ve been a huge influence in my life, in so many ways. I remember when I first discovered Zen Garage on Facebook. I was so taken in by the culture of it all. The “I don’t give a fuck, I’m going to do me, but I’ll still respect you” mentality that seemed to surround it. You opened my head up to new music. I was mostly (and still am) a metalhead. It was “Hold Me Down” by Mansionaire that turned me on to a whole new genre of music. I never gave a fuck about photography until I saw your shoots, even though I was married to a “photographer” at the time. It pushed me. I adopted the Zen mentality as I saw it and became a better person for it. Truer to myself. It made me want to get back in touch with my artistic side. Made me start drawing and writing music again. In fact the one and only time I’ve ever actually painted anything was while listening to your Soundcloud playlist. I’ve always thought you were this amazing individual. Yet you would always chat with me on Facebook whenever I’m hitting you up to buy some stickers. It hit me pretty hard seeing all the shit you’ve been dealing with, and I feel for ya man. I do. I cant express how happy it makes me to see you coming back out again. I know you’ve still got a way to go before you’re fully happy again, but my heart is lightened to see that you are getting there. Sorry for bugging ya. Just some insight from a broke ass American kid.

Also on MEDIUM:

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